Monthly Archives: September 2009

The Menopause Makeover Book Trailer

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Menopause Makeover Winners

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The Hollywood AFTER photo shoot!

Finally the day arrived! Judy, Lisa and Elyssia, all recipients of a free Menopause Makeover by Staness Jonekos, had their big Hollywood AFTER photo shoot! It was a day of pampering provided by American Idol photographer, Michael Becker (aka my hubby), American Idol make-up artist Mandy, and hair stylist Danai. And to top it off, an on-line mail-order catalogue focusing exclusively on the needs of women over 40, AsWeCHANGE.com, generously contributed swimsuits and cute wraps for this special occasion.

While Judy, Lisa and Elyssia were busy with their Menopause Makeovers, I decided to set new goals and do my own menopause makeover again. Sporting our new girlish figures, Michael made us feel like celebrities in front of the camera.

As you know, putting on a swimsuit, and parading around a photo studio in front of strangers is no easy task! But we were all feeling great! Everyone mastered the Menopause Makeover Food Pyramid and lost a total of 75 pounds! We lost 53.5 inches combined! Not bad for a bunch of menopausal gals?!

Everyone started at an unhealthy weight, and in 12 weeks reached a normal weight according to the BMI (body mass index) chart. Check your BMI, click here.

The Menopause Makeover is not just about weight loss. Although living on the 8-step, 12-week plan will promise weight loss if you need it, it is most importantly about regaining control over menopause symptoms and health concerns. The Menopause Makeover embraces that we are all different, and each of us will have treatment options unique to her.

It was exciting to witness Judy, Lisa and Elyssia’s incredible transformations! They each made a commitment to the Menopause Makeover that changed their lives!

Conquering menopause symptoms, managing weight, and boosting self-esteem are possible during menopause!

We’d like to toast to that!

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Check out Elyssia, Judy and Lisa’s sensational before and after shots and read about their journey on The Menopause Makeover, click here.

If you want to order a fabulous sexy and flattering swimsuit from AsWeChange.com, click here.

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Posted in beauty

Relationship Tip

Going through menopause can be challenging both physically and emotionally, affecting your relationships. If you find it difficult to communicate verbally with those who are reacting to your moodiness, crankiness, spurts of anger and requests to turn on the air conditioner, it is often easier to express yourself in a letter.

This suggested letter may give you a head start.

Dear ________________,

Lately I have not been feeling like myself. Despite the daily stresses we all experience, I am going through perimenopause (menopause, postmenopause or surgical menopause) and suffering from uncomfortable symptoms. This is a normal, natural part of a woman’s life. Yet, I am feeling anxiety about my changing body, roller-coaster emotions, constant hot flashes and aging that are starting to unfold in my life. Unfortunately, we live in a society that does not embrace this transition. I would like to ask for your support and understanding as I pass through this important time in my life.

There may be situations when you think I am acting like a crazy woman – or crazier than times in the past – and I am. I assure you, my fluctuating hormones are making me feel out-of-control and cranky. There will be times that I cannot snap back quickly to my normal self. When you want to run away, please know that those may be the very times when I need you most. Offering to help with chores, or asking what you can do to help, would be appreciated. If I growl back, feel free to run and hide; I understand. But know that your love will help carry me through this big-time life transition. If I am freezing you out of the house as I constantly lower the thermostat in an attempt to survive my hourly hot flashes, remember that those extra blankets in the linen closet may save you.

Feel free to ask me questions, so you may understand my journey. I want to share with you. I look forward to when my hormones finish adjusting, so I can feel normal again. Just as puberty may have been traumatic or frustrating to you, menopause is equally exasperating for me. I value our relationship, and wish to continue a loving, strong, fulfilling connection with you.

Thank you in advance for taking the time to understand, support and love me during this passage.

Love,
_______________

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Posted in relationships

Are YOU going through menopause?

The dictionary defines menopause as “the time in a woman’s life when menstruation diminishes and ceases, usually between the ages of 45 and 50.” It is identified as not having a period for one year. Perimenopause (peri is Latin for “around or near”) is the time prior to the cessation of menstruation when you experience hormonal changes and you are still having periods. Many doctors now refer to perimenopause as the menopausal transition. So I will also refer to it as the same. Postmenopause is the time after menopause when the symptoms of estrogen absence appear.

Going through the menopause transition is the reverse of puberty. Puberty was the transition in your life when your hormones were gearing up for your reproductive years to come. Remember your first period? Emotional outbursts, swollen breasts, restless nights, and feeling bloated? Now, at the menopausal transition you may experience many of the same symptoms, but for different reasons. Instead of “turning on” your hormones, your body is now “turning off” your hormones. Many women who had difficult puberties have challenging menopause. Women who got through adolescence easily often have the same experience with menopause. We are all different and menopause is no exception.

So how do you know you are going through menopause?

Let’s identify your symptoms. You may have one, some or all at different stages of menopause. Sixty to eighty percent of women experience mild to moderate symptoms, 10-20 percent suffer from severe symptoms, and 10-20 percent have no symptoms. Your symptoms can be a guide to what is happening in your body. These clues are the hard evidence you will need when deciding what course of action you may wish to exercise.

Do you experience any of these symptoms?

• Weight gain
• Mood swings
• Night sweats
• Heart palpitations
• Changes in your period
• Migraine headaches
• Bladder changes
• Vision changes
• Joint aches
• Nail and tooth problems
• Breast tenderness
• Memory loss
• Hot flashes
• Sleep problems
• Loss of libido
• Dry vagina
• Hair and Skin changes

These are all messages from your body.

If you are experiencing one or many of these “changes” you may be perimenopausal, menopausal, postmenopausal or having symptoms from surgical menopause (hysterectomy). You are not alone; 44 million women are going through similar transitions with 4,000 a day joining the club.

If you suspect that you are going through one of the stages of menopause, call you doctor and request a FSH (Follicle Stimulating Hormone) blood test. The results of this test will allow you and your doctor to determine how best to treat your symptoms.

While waiting for test results, start an exercise program. Regular exercise can improve the symptoms of menopause. It helps regulate weight, benefits your heart and bones, and contributes to a sense of overall well-being and improvement in mood.

Document your symptoms, develop a strong relationship with your health care provider, and discuss treatment options.

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Posted in hormones

Are YOU going through menopause?

The dictionary defines menopause as “the time in a woman’s life when menstruation diminishes and ceases, usually between the ages of 45 and 50.” It is identified as not having a period for one year. Perimenopause (peri is Latin for “around or near”) is the time prior to the cessation of menstruation when you experience hormonal changes and you are still having periods. Many doctors now refer to perimenopause as the menopausal transition. So I will also refer to it as the same. Postmenopause is the time after menopause when the symptoms of estrogen absence appear.

Going through the menopause transition is the reverse of puberty. Puberty was the transition in your life when your hormones were gearing up for your reproductive years to come. Remember your first period? Emotional outbursts, swollen breasts, restless nights, and feeling bloated? Now, at the menopausal transition you may experience many of the same symptoms, but for different reasons. Instead of “turning on” your hormones, your body is now “turning off” your hormones. Many women who had difficult puberties have challenging menopause. Women who got through adolescence easily often have the same experience with menopause. We are all different and menopause is no exception.

So how do you know you are going through menopause?

Let’s identify your symptoms. You may have one, some or all at different stages of menopause. Sixty to eighty percent of women experience mild to moderate symptoms, 10-20 percent suffer from severe symptoms, and 10-20 percent have no symptoms. Your symptoms can be a guide to what is happening in your body. These clues are the hard evidence you will need when deciding what course of action you may wish to exercise.

Do you experience any of these symptoms?

• Weight gain
• Mood swings
• Night sweats
• Heart palpitations
• Changes in your period
• Migraine headaches
• Bladder changes
• Vision changes
• Joint aches
• Nail and tooth problems
• Breast tenderness
• Memory loss
• Hot flashes
• Sleep problems
• Loss of libido
• Dry vagina
• Hair and Skin changes

These are all messages from your body.

If you are experiencing one or many of these “changes” you may be perimenopausal, menopausal, postmenopausal or having symptoms from surgical menopause (hysterectomy). You are not alone; 44 million women are going through similar transitions with 4,000 a day joining the club.

If you suspect that you are going through one of the stages of menopause, call you doctor and request a FSH (Follicle Stimulating Hormone) blood test. The results of this test will allow you and your doctor to determine how best to treat your symptoms.

While waiting for test results, start an exercise program. Regular exercise can improve the symptoms of menopause. It helps regulate weight, benefits your heart and bones, and contributes to a sense of overall well-being and improvement in mood.

Document your symptoms, develop a strong relationship with your health care provider, and discuss treatment options.

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Understanding Menopause Symptoms

Understanding menopause symptoms is the first step to treating them. Symptoms can be caused by fluctuating hormones. Your body is giving you clues that will help you find balance again. Your symptoms will guide you throughout your menopausal journey and will continue to change until you reach post menopause.

Document your symptoms and discuss them with your practitioner.

Irregular Periods: At the onset of perimenopause, irregular periods can be the first symptom you notice. Your natural cycle is changing, some months you may ovulate and some months you may not. As a result, irregular periods may occur. Some months your period may be longer or shorter. Discuss your menstrual patterns with your health care provider.

Weight gain: Another early symptom, which is often the hardest to live with, is weight gain. I wish I could say all weight gain could be blamed on menopause; that would just make the experience a little easier to life with. Only some weight can be blamed on our ever-changing hormones. Many of us over the years had less time to exercise and eat properly, and when we enter menopause the effects are unforgiving. Getting back in shape and losing weight may feel like an uphill battle. A commitment to healthy lifestyle changes regarding food intake and exercise is now a necessary step to feeling better. This weight gain is a wake up call. As you gather information and make eating and exercise choices for your plan, you will start seeing and feeling results.
Breast Tenderness: Changing hormones may cause fluid retention in your breasts. Once your hormones are in sync again, you will notice this uncomfortable symptom alleviated. Cut back on caffeine and salt consumption.

Mood Swings: When you are experiencing life changes, whether emotional or physical, getting moody is perfectly understandable. Throw in hot flashes, weight gain, and vaginal dryness, and you wonder why you are moody? During menopause there are also biological reasons you may get moody and irritable. When your ovaries start making less estradoil (the active form of estrogen made in your ovaries) it starts affecting other bodily functions including the estradiol in the brain and that causes a decrease in your endorphin levels (the body’s natural feel-good regulator). When your endorphin levels drop, your brain sends out adrenaline that can increase your heart rate and dilate your blood vessels causing hot flashes and anxiety. This cycle can make the best of us cranky and moody. Then throw in life’s general ups and downs, you are now on a moody roller coaster. Declining estradoil that is fluctuating daily can ensure moods swings in many of us making it difficult to cope with daily challenges. If you are experiencing mood swings, this is a good time to start making time to relax, mediate, get a massage, take yoga, enjoy herbal teas and pamper yourself. Some women with severe mood swings that lead to depression consider taking Serotonin-reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) a drug that can balance your brain chemicals. Exercise and a healthy diet can also help with moodiness.

Heart Palpitations: If you suspect heart disease or it runs in your family, it is best to have these heart palpitations checked out by your doctor. No one knows for sure why some women suffer from heart palpitations during menopause. It is usually attributed to fluctuating hormones. Discuss this symptom with your practitioner.

Migraine Headaches: If migraine headaches are new to you, or only happened during the first few days of your period or during ovulation, it indicates that you are responding to changing estrogen levels. During perimenopause these fluctuating hormone levels may trigger more migraines than you experienced during a normal cycle. For some women balancing their hormones alleviates migraines. For others, hormone therapy makes it worse. The good news is those migraines that appeared during menopause will probably disappear during post menopause. The medical community is still trying to figure out the connection of female hormones and migraines. Practice relaxation techniques, keep a migraine journal and track your migraine triggers (caffeine, medications, dieting, stress). Discuss treatment options with your doctor.

Memory Lapses: Often short-term memory loss can be experienced during menopause. There are many factors that may affect your memory: stress, age, medications, lack of sleep, and overall health. Ask for support from your loved-ones, so they may nurture you through forgetful moments. Keep your mind stimulated. Use a planner and practice a healthy lifestyle.

Hot Flashes and Night Sweats: The number one symptom that most people associate with menopause is hot flashes. Feeling flush, overcome with perspiration, and dizzy, is no fun. Being disturbed from a good nights sleep with a hot flash (aka night sweats) that sends you to the bathroom to splash cool water on your face and change into a dry nightgown, is no fun either. When your estrogen levels suddenly plunge it can create a hot flash. Being overweight, diabetic, suffering from an under or over-active thyroid, and certain medications can also cause hot flashes. Wear layered clothing and bring a fresh blouse when you leave the house. In the summer, wear a cotton sundress and keep a stylish fan handy in your purse for instant hot flash relief. Discuss this symptom with your practitioner. Often low-dose hormone therapy can bring relief. Practice relaxation techniques, get regular exercise and maintain a healthy weight.

Sleep Problems: If you are experiencing night sweats due to changing hormones, it is no surprise you are not sleeping at night. A sleepless night may bring a day of irritability and mood swings. Non-menopausal sleep problems, such as consuming caffeine or alcohol before bedtime, may also cause sleepless nights. If these sleep problems are caused by menopause symptoms, discuss hormone therapy with your practitioner. Avoid caffeine and alcohol before bedtime. Prescription sleep aids can also bring relief. Practice relaxation techniques and eat a healthy diet.

Vaginal Dryness: Intercourse can be painful if you are experiencing vaginal dryness. When your estrogen levels drop, vaginal dryness can occur, your vagina can tear more easily from friction, and the vagina tissues can loose their elasticity and become smaller. Estrogen plumps up the cells in the vaginal wall so they produce more lubrication. Hormone therapy may bring relief. A bioadhesive lubricant, such as AstroGlide that can be purchased over- the- counter, may also bring relief. If vaginal dryness is your only menopause symptom, you may consider using an estrogen cream applied vaginally.

Loss of Libido: If you are experiencing vaginal dryness and sleepless nights it is no wonder you lack interest in sex. Besides the effects of menopause, it is also normal for your libido to decline with age. Between the ages of 55 and 65 sexual activity slows for men and women. Don’t let a decrease in hormone levels blow the flame of desire out of your love life, visit your doctor, take the appropriate tests and discuss hormone treatment options. Certain medications may also contribute to a declining libido: blood pressure, depression, heart disease, or diabetes medications. If you need to treat your relationship, visit a counselor. A healthy sex life is possible during and after menopause.

Skin Changes: There is no escaping the aging process, but during menopause you really start seeing the effects of less estrogen. Your skin is supported by collagen and elastin fibers, which are supported by estrogen. That is why your skin looked so soft and contoured to your face before menopause. For those of you who loved getting a summer suntan, the affects of sun on your skin are damaging, with or without estrogen. Gravity plays a big role here too. After 40 plus years of being on this planet, gravity takes a toll on everyone. What most of us notice during menopause is that the elasticity and firmness of our skin decreases rapidly due to less estrogen production. Wear sunscreen (SPF 15+), exfoliate regularly, practice good skin care, and moisturize daily.

Bladder changes: Just as lower levels of estrogen can affect your skin, it can also change the flexibility of the muscle fibers around the urethra (the tube that lets urine out of the bladder). Age, obesity, family history, and hysterectomy may also contribute to bladder changes. Kegel exercises are a great option to reduce these effects and help firm up your urethra muscle. Just squeeze your vagina muscles and hold them for 10 seconds, then relax and count to 5, then repeat. It is best to do 5 sets 3 times a day. You will see a difference within a month. Also, start wearing a light mini-pad; they are much easier to change than your panties or slacks. You may notice when you balance your hormones this symptom improves. If not, your doctor may suggest medications.

Hair Changes: Almost 50% of women complain of hair changes during menopause. Age, family history, high blood pressure, medications, depression, thyroid disease, stress and hormones can be factors contributing to hair loss or excessive hair growth. You can have thinning hair and you can sprout some hairy growth on your face. For a few rogue hairs or peach fuzz try tweezing, Jolen Hair Bleach (sold at most pharmacies), electrolysis, and waxing works well. If you are suffering from hair loss, Rogaine 2% may bring relief.

The more educated you are about your body’s changes going through menopause, the more you will be able to embrace this transition. Fluctuating hormones, age, genetics and lifestyle can all affect your menopause journey. Empower yourself to take action and manage menopause.

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Irregular Periods

In No Mood for a Period during Vacation

Dear Crabby,

My husband and I are going on a cruise in about 3 weeks. I thought I would have my next period by now but haven’t. Actually I had one in June on the regular date and skipped July and had another in August but about 2 weeks before the normal date.

This all does not bother me because I do know these are all symptoms of menopause starting. But my question is, about anything I can do to control my period not starting on the trip.

I can’t get into my regular doc before we go.

Thanks!

In No Mood for a Period during Vacation

__________________

Dear In No Mood for a Period,

The most common symptom women notice during perimenopause is both menstrual flow and frequency changes. Per the North American Menopause Society, approximately 90% of women experience 4 to 8 years of menstrual changes before natural menopause. Some women experience lighter bleeding while others have heavier bleeding. The cycle length may also change, or you may completely skip a period. Every woman will experience a pattern that is irregular for her. We are all different.

Changes in your menstrual patterns and flow are considered normal during perimenopause, and are attributed to decreased frequency of ovulation and changing levels of ovarian secreted hormones.

Whether a woman is menopausal or not, wishing to manipulate your period start date, so it does not occur on a special occasion, is an age-old desire!

Many women who have irregular periods find success using a low-dose combination estrogen-progestin oral contraceptive. Clinical trails have demonstrated that oral contraceptives have normalized irregular bleeding and decreased menstrual flow.

Seasonale and Seasonique are oral contraceptive products that are formulated so you get your period about once every three months. Lybrel is another low-dose extended-use combined oral contraceptive that is formulated to be taken for one year with no breaks, no periods. These products also provide birth control, something perimenopausal women must consider until they have reached menopause (12 months without a period). Oral contraceptives may also provide relief for hot flashes, night sweats and menopausal crankiness.

Discuss these options and your risk factors (are you a smoker, high blood pressure, personal history of stroke, heart attack, blood clot or liver disease, breast or uterus cancer, or history of thrombosis) with your doctor.

You mentioned that you cannot get in to see your doctor, try a phone call – a brief conversation may answer your questions and/or requests.

If you are not a good candidate for oral contraceptives or prefer not to take them, consider embracing Mother Nature.

Have a wonderful cruise!

Signed,
Dear Crabby

Write to Dear Crabby and get advice about your menopausal symptoms.
If you have:
• Hot flashes
• Itchy skin
• Breast tenderness
• Mood swings
• Memory lapses
• Fuzzy thinking
• Night sweats
• Sleep problems
• Loss of libido
• Dry vagina
• Irregular periods
• Headaches

Dear Crabby has tips to make your life easier.
She wants to hear from YOU.
Send your questions to: DearCrabby@MenopauseMakeover.com

Resources:
The North American Menopause Society, “Menopause Practice a Clinician’s Guide”
www.menopause.org
Mayo Clinic
www.mayoclinic.com

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Posted in ask the expert, hormones

Heart Palpitations

POUNDING HEART FROM OREGON

Dear Crabby,

How long do heart palpitations last going through menopause? I have had them for almost 2 years. I already had my heart checked and all is okay. I am on oral natural progesterone which helps some. Is this a fairly common symptom of menopause?
Signed,
Pounding Heart from Oregon

Dear Pounding Heart,

Yes, for some, heart palpitations can be a common occurrence during menopause.

During menopause, heart palpitations can be scary, happening at inappropriate times. Sometimes palpitations accompany hot flashes.

Keep a hot flash/heart palpitation diary.

No one knows for sure why some women suffer from heart palpitations during menopause. It is often attributed to hormonal fluctuation. You may wish to discuss hormonal balance with your healthcare provider. Usually heart palpitations go away within a few months after your hormones have settled down. Hormonal balance often relieves heart palpitations.

If you suspect heart disease or if heart disease runs in your family, discuss these symptoms with your healthcare provider. From your inquiry it appears that you have had your heart health checked by your doctor. This is good news.

The most common non-hormonal cause of heart palpitations is ingesting too many stimulants: alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, decongestants, and diet pills all contain chemicals that stimulate the heart. Too much of these stimulants can confuse your heart and cause it to beat out of control.

Other causes of heart palpitations could be more serious and require medical attention: anemia, hypoglycemia, and certain thyroid conditions.

Stress can also cause irregular heartbeats. Practice relaxation techniques.

Consider:

-Limiting alcohol and caffeinated beverages
-Do not smoke
-Exercise regularly, after discussing with your doctor
-Avoid stimulant medications
-Decrease stress
-Keep blood pressure and cholesterol under control
-Manage a healthy weight
-Practice relaxation techniques
-Avoid activities that tend to activate or increase your palpitations
-Tracking your heart palpitations may help identify triggers.
-Make sure to share your heart palpitation journal with your clinician. Even if you have previously talked with your doctor regarding your heart palpitations, it is still important to inform her that they are continuing.

I am not a doctor, and encourage you to continue communication with your healthcare provider. I applaud your commitment to seek out information. We are all different. It is important to maintain good health, eat healthy and exercise during menopause.

Once I obtained hormone balance my heart palpitations disappeared. It took a few tries with different hormone therapies before finding a program that effectively managed my menopause symptoms.

If you need a second opinion, The North American Menopause Society has a wonderful list of healthcare providers:

http://www.menopause.org/cliniciansus.pdf

I hope the next heart pounding experience you encounter is one stimulated by love – not fluctuating hormones.

Signed,
A calmer Dear Crabby

NOTE: Pounding Heart from Oregon continued her search for heart palpitations solutions working closely with a naturopath. She discovered taking a compounded progesterone lozenger place under the tongue helped with heart palpitations. If her symptoms worsen she will consider estrogen/progesterone therapy. I applaud Pounding Heart for her extensive research and exercising an open conversation with her healthcare provider. It is the first step to managing menopause. We are all different. Each of us will have different solutions to treating menopause symptoms.

Write to Dear Crabby and get advice about your menopausal symptoms.
If you have:
• Hot flashes
• Itchy skin
• Breast tenderness
• Mood swings
• Memory lapses
• Fuzzy thinking
• Night sweats
• Sleep problems
• Loss of libido
• Dry vagina
• Irregular periods
• Headaches

Dear Crabby has tips to make your life easier.
She wants to hear from YOU.
Send your questions to: DearCrabby@MenopauseMakeover.com

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Posted in ask the expert, hormones

Do you need birth control during perimenopause?

IN THE MOOD FOR LOVE IN CINCINNATI

Dear Crabby,

My doctor has informed me that I am in perimenopause. My children are grown and it would be a relief if I no longer had to worry about birth control. I have used a diaphragm most of my adult life with great success, but it is inconvenient and kills “the mood”. In addition, my periods have been irregular. Do I still need to use birth control?

IN THE MOOD FOR LOVE IN CINCINNATI

DEAR IN THE MOOD:

The good news is you are “in the mood”. Many women experiencing perimenopausal symptoms lose their interest in sex. If your only concern is birth control-lucky you!

One of the benefits of menopause or post menopause is not worrying about birth control.

First, let’s define the three stages of menopause:

Perimenopause begins about 6-8 years before you reach menopause. During this time the levels of hormones produced by your ovaries start to fluctuate leading to irregular menstrual patterns; such as, irregularity in the length of the period, the time between periods, and the level of flow. At this time you are ovulating on and off, so you could become pregnant. Other common perimenopause symptoms are: hot flashes, night sweats, mood swings, vaginal dryness, weight gain, fluctuations in sexual desire, fuzzy thinking, trouble sleeping, fatigue and depression.

You are officially in menopause when you haven’t had a period for 12 consecutive months. At this point there are no more eggs left for your ovaries to release and pregnancy is impossible.

Post-Menopause is the period of life after you have reached menopause.

Since you are perimenopausal and still having periods it is advisable to continue practicing birth control because your ovaries have not completely stopped producing hormones. You may still ovulate and could become pregnant.

When your ovaries start producing lower levels of hormones you begin to experience symptoms associated with perimenopause. Irregular periods can be the first symptom you notice. Because your natural cycle is changing, some months you may ovulate and some months you may not. Menopause happens when the ovaries stop making enough hormones to stimulate your monthly cycle then your periods stop permanently. Only then can you stop worrying birth control. It is advisable you get confirmation from your doctor.

Since using a diaphragm for birth control can be inconvenient, and “kill the mood”, you may wish to consider one of these other methods of birth control.

Top five most popular forms of birth control

-Birth control pill, 96-99% effective. Using “the pill” is not only effective at birth control (diaphragms are only 85-90% effective) but the pill can help with perimenopausal symptoms. You may wish to discuss this option with your doctor.
-Condoms, 90-95% effective.
-Vasectomy, 100% effective. Many couples opt for this option after they have had their children.
-IUD (Intrauterine device) last six to ten years. This permanent device allows you to be “in the mood” without disrupting spontaneity.
-Norplant, a chemical contraceptive, is a match-sized rod that is inserted into the woman’s arm. It is time released into the woman’s system for up to five years.

Of course, abstinence is 100% full proof, but you signed your letter “in the mood,” so I’m sure that wouldn’t be an option. Continue practicing birth control until your doctor confirms that you are in menopause. If you have more than one partner, practice SAFE sex to avoid any sexually transmitted diseases.

Signed,
Less Crabby practicing birth control

Write to Dear Crabby and get advice about your menopausal symptoms.
If you have:
• Hot flashes
• Itchy skin
• Breast tenderness
• Mood swings
• Memory lapses
• Fuzzy thinking
• Night sweats
• Sleep problems
• Loss of libido
• Dry vagina
• Irregular periods
• Headaches

Dear Crabby has tips to make your life easier.
She wants to hear from YOU.
Send your questions to: DearCrabby@MenopauseMakeover.com

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Posted in ask the expert, hormones, relationships

Low Libido and Vaginal Dryness

NO LONGER INTERESTED IN SEX AND THE DREADED DRY VAGINA

Dear Crabby,

My husband and I have been married for over 10 years and we’ve always enjoyed an active, healthy sex life. Lately, I have been losing sleep because I am no longer interested in sex. When we do make love, my vagina is completely dry and it makes intercourse almost impossible. My sex drive is completely gone. My husband has become very “Crabby”, and I have completely shut down physically.

I am 46 years old, and my periods have become irregular. I suspect that I may be perimenopausal. It has been almost six months since our last sexual encounter and I’m afraid my husband will start looking somewhere else for it. I feel guilty of not “pleasing” him anymore, but even more guilty of not even “wanting” to. Once a woman’s period stops, is it normal to not want sex because we are no longer “baby makers”? Am I “guilty” of losing interest in sex and not pleasing my husband?

GUILTY IN SEATTLE

DEAR GUILTY IN SEATTLE:

The only thing you may be “guilty” of is not having all the facts so you can continue to have a healthy sex life.

Vaginal dryness is a common menopause symptom. Intercourse can be painful if you are experiencing vaginal dryness. When estrogen levels drop, vaginal dryness can occur. Your vagina can tear more easily from friction, and the vagina tissues can lose their elasticity. Estrogen plumps up the cells in the vaginal wall so they produce more lubrication.

It is important to discuss this with your doctor to confirm that you are not suffering from a vaginal infection. Not only does the physical act of intercourse become a challenge with vaginal dryness, the emotional dialogue that goes on in your head when you no longer lubricate naturally, makes the whole encounter stressful. You ask yourself, “Why am I not turned on? He’s doing all the things I like.” Then you think, “What must HE be thinking? Does he think HE doesn’t turn me on?” Next you suspect, “It’s me, what’s wrong with me?” Your only option is to say, “I have a headache”, then roll over and cry yourself to sleep. No wonder you are sleepless and no longer interested in sex.

There is good news. Option #1: Low dose hormone therapy may bring relief. Option #2: A bioadhesive lubricant, such as AstroGlide that can be purchased over-the-counter, may bring instant relief. Option #3: If vaginal dryness is your only menopause symptom, you may consider using an estrogen cream applied vaginally.

The loss of libido is another common symptom of perimenopause straight through post menopause. The loss of libido can also result from fluctuating hormone levels. Don’t let a decrease in hormone levels blow the flame of desire out of your love life, visit your doctor, take the appropriate tests and discuss treatment options.

Certain medications may also contribute to a declining libido: blood pressure, depression, heart disease, or diabetes medications.

If you need to treat your relationship, visit a counselor.

Besides the effects of menopause, it is also normal for your libido to decline with age. Between the ages of 55 and 65 sexual activity slows for men and women.

A healthy sex life is possible during and after menopause.

If buying lubrication, getting blood tests, and discussing hormones with your doctor seem like an effort, check out the amazing benefits of sex:

-Sex burns about 200 calories during 30 minutes of active sex.
-Regular sex promotes circulation and lubrication!
-Having sex three times a week can make you look and feel ten years younger, thus boosting self esteem.
-Sex is the safest sport you’ll ever enjoy.
-Sex releases endorphins into the bloodstream producing a sense of euphoria, that can reduce depression.
-Sex is a stress reliever. It is ten times more effective than Valium.
-Sex can relieve headaches by releasing the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain.
-Sex is a natural antihistamine that can help with asthma and hay fever.
-Sex can lower your cholesterol by tipping the HDL/LSL (good kind/bad kind) cholesterol balance towards the HDL (good) side.
-Regular sex can boost estrogen levels. Estrogen keeps your hair shinny, skin smooth; helps reduce the chances of getting dermatitis, and rashes.
-The actual sex act triggers the release of oxytocin that promotes more good feelings.
-Sex can help you sleep better because the levels of oxytocin, a sleep-inducing hormone, can be 5 times higher than normal during love making.

Now, let’s chat about your “guilt”. Women get joy out of pleasing the people we love, especially our wonderful partners. Of the two species, women are usually the “pleasers”. When something changes and we can’t please everyone as we used to, it is common to feel guilty. During perimenopause, menopause and post menopause our bodies are going through natural changes. This is nothing to feel guilty over. Just as our bodies go through a transition during puberty, our bodies also go through a transition as we end our childbearing years. This is a time when we need to pamper ourselves. We may have a little less time to give to others as we devote time to ourselves during this menopausal transition. This is a good time to find other friends going through the same thing, share information, lend support and compare experiences. Talking about “it” can make you feel better. It is a perfect time to build strong communication skills with your partner. The more your partner understands your menopausal journey the more supported you may feel regarding your insecurities.

Purchase a bioadhesive lubricant (Astroglide), visit your practitioner and discuss treatment options, take time for pampering, and being sleepless should only happen because you are making love to your Prince Charming.

Signed,
Less Crabby and More Loving

PS. A note to menopausal women who are in the dating world with more than one partner…. practice safe sex. You may be able to get pregnant and you want to avoid getting a sexually transmitted disease or AIDS.

Write to Dear Crabby and get advice about your menopausal symptoms.
If you have:
• Hot flashes
• Itchy skin
• Breast tenderness
• Mood swings
• Memory lapses
• Fuzzy thinking
• Night sweats
• Sleep problems
• Loss of libido
• Dry vagina
• Irregular periods
• Headaches

Dear Crabby has tips to make your life easier.
She wants to hear from YOU.
Send your questions to: DearCrabby@MenopauseMakeover.com

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The ultimate guide to taking control of your health and beauty during menopause